


Some of Us

by StupidGenius



Series: Some of Us are Human [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hallucinations, Hurt Stiles, Mental Instability, Nogitsune Trauma, also i dont know why i tortured myself with this, episode s05e03 spoilers, seriously though, worried lydia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 03:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4288944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidGenius/pseuds/StupidGenius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Not all of us can be true Alphas! Some of us have to make mistakes! Some of us are human!” Stiles was panting, rain pouring around them, chilling him to the bone, the grass under him turning red with the blood dripping off his hands.</p><p>The blood he put there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some of Us

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I finally watched the season five supertease and HAVENT THE STILINSKIS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH?????? At least it really dos look like they’re going to acknowledge that Stiles is not okay. But again, they’re probably going to torture everyone, and I’m not READY.
> 
> This was very much based off the teaser. 
> 
> Spoilers for the latest episode in the end notes.

His walls were crumbling.

There was only so much Stiles could take. So much he could do before he really cracked. The pressure had been building inside his head, pushing against the carefully placed walls around him, and he’d had enough. There was too much death. Too much destruction. Too much pain. And now? Now, Scott was standing in front of him, giving him a lecture.

He almost fucking died. _Again_.

He was breaking.

“SHUT. UP.” He screamed. Scott’s mouth snapped shut with an audible click, and he stared at him wide eyed.

“Stiles –”

“Not all of us can be true Alphas!” He continued. “Some of us have to make mistakes! Some of us are _human_!” He was panting, rain pouring around them, chilling him to the bone, the grass under him turning red with the blood dripping off his hands.

The blood he put there.

“I never thought you could hurt someone like that.” Scott whispered. Stiles closed his eyes, too tired now to continue fighting.

“We’ve all changed, Scottie.”

“I don’t think I like what you’ve changed into.”

Stiles thought maybe he left after a minute. When he opened his eyes, he was alone, standing in a rusty red puddle, and soaking wet. His teeth clicked together in his mouth, body shivering violently in the cold. His bat was clean now, the only proof of what he’d done being the scratched Theo left on it.

What had he done?

Why was he doing this?

Why wasn’t he okay?

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Jesus.” Derek frowned when showed up at the loft. “You’re frozen. What the hell happened?”

Stiles trudged into the loft, standing in the middle and staring down at the floor.

Finishing that year had been hell. After the nogitsune, he thought it would be better for everyone if he tried to act like nothing happened. Turn it into something else to joke about. Fake it till you make it, right? Smile till you actually mean it.

“Theo might come back.” Stiles whispered. “I’m not enough to scare him away.”

“What are you talking about?” Derek stood in front of him, and lifted on of his hands up, brushing a thumb over his bruised and swollen knuckles. There was dried blood and dirt caked under his nails, mud on his boots and jeans. “How did you get these? Where’s Theo?”

“I scared him away. I think.” He squinted at his hands. “I don’t remember all of it.”

“Don’t remember like…it wasn’t you?” That was fear. Just the barest amount, hidden in the depth of Derek’s voice. Because of _him_.

“I think I blacked out.” He admitted. “My fingers – I counted. They’re all here. But I still cant be sure.”

“Did you kill him?”

“No.” Stiles stumbled forward, until Derek finally drew him close, wrapping his arms around him and slowly warming him up. “I’m not okay, Derek.” He croaked.

“I know.”

“Everyone wants me to be okay and I tried. I smiled for them. I joked for them. But I’m not okay. I just want to be okay.” He sobbed. Derek moved them until he was laying down on the couch, Stiles on top of him. He took a deep breath. “It’s still there.”

“What is?”

“The Darkness. Sometimes – I feel like I can’t breathe. None of the breaths I take are deep enough, cause all this black space is taking up space in my lungs. I still count my fingers every morning, an make sure I always have something to read at my desk so I know. And some things – I never used to be so afraid of the dark. Never used to make sure all my doors were closed. Check under my bed for monsters. I’m supposed to be okay, Derek. I need – need to –“

“Shhh.” Derek ran a hand through his hair, calming him. Stiles forced himself to relax.

“Will I ever be okay again?”

“I don’t know.” Derek said softly. Stiles felt lips on top of his head, and let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. “You know you’ll always have me, no matter what, right?”

“Yeah.”

He slept.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When Stiles woke up the next morning, he was alone. And freezing. The cold autumn air blew in through a few broken windows on the large glass wall. He squinted, watching the dust float through the air. it was horribly quiet, and Stiles at up with a groan. A spring from the couch dug into his back.

His phone rang in his pocket, and when he checked, he saw he had ten missed calls. He decided to call back the first one he saw.

“Stiles! Thank god, we were worried sick about you.” Lydia breathed. Stiles sighed, running a hand down his face.

“Sorry Lyds. I fell asleep. Lost track of time.”

“Where are you?” She asked.

“The loft.” He frowned when she didn’t say anything. “Lydia?”

“Why are you at the loft?”

“I came to see Derek. Have you seen him by the way? When I woke up he wasn’t here. I –”

“Stiles.” Lydia said softly. Way softer than Lydia usually spoke. The tone made something cold settle in Stiles’ chest, and he inhaled sharply.

“Yeah?”

“Derek is gone. He’s been gone for months. Remember?”

“Oh.” He whispered. He heard someone speaking in the background, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Stiles, honey. Did you drive yourself there?”

“I th-think so.”

“I’m going to come get you, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

“Yeah.” He said numbly. He ended the call and dropped his hand onto the worn cough cushion, looking around.

There was a thick layer of dust over everything, bathing the loft in grey. Stiles could still see the red stain on the cement floor where Boyd died. the bed in the corner was bare, but there were blood stains on that too.

Derek was gone.

Stiles was not okay.

**Author's Note:**

> **SPOILERS FOR LATEST EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!:**
> 
>  
> 
> TRACY?????????????TRACY WHY??????????????????????THE ONLY TIME I'VE BEEN SO UPSET OVER A MINOR CHARACTER"S DEATH WAS WHEN THE BETAS DIED. AND I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE HER THAT MUCH??????
> 
> Mason. Oh my god. I love him. And i really hope that was Brett he was kissing in the teaser for the next episode, because that would be great.
> 
> "died in a fire" WHY. DID KATE JUST LIKE. BURN EVERY WEREWOLF HOUSE SHE CAME ACROSS?????? 
> 
> SHERIFF AND MRS. MARTIN?? They don't seem like a very good match me to me, honestly. Though we haven't seen that much of her yet, so i can't know for sure.
> 
> LYDIA. "It's not that bad." UM. there's literally a hole in your torso babe
> 
> please be okay tho.
> 
> ALSO STILES MY SON PLEASE DON'T THREATEN ASSHOLES THEY USUALLY END UP TO BE SOME SORT OF SUPERNATURAL CREATURE WHO WANTS TO SNAP YOUR PRECIOUS FRAGILE NECK.
> 
> AND heR SPINE??????? tHE SPINE. DON'T THEY USUALLY GIVE US A WARNING WHEN SHIT GETS THAT FUCKING DISTURBING?????!? i SCREAMED. HER SPINE RIPPED OUT OF HER BACK LIKE WHAT THE SHIT. I AM AFRIAD.


End file.
